My New Year with T.J.'s Butt

I have food poisoning or something.  I'm all kinds of nauseous.  I see a lot of Facebook status's that state things having to do with how not good their day was and how that indicates the year is off to a rocky start.  It reminds me of a movie review.  Like Facebook users review each moment as though they were reviewing a movie; how comfortable they are, how pleased they are, etc.  It's funny, you know?  Facebook status's, I mean.  I heard a quote the other day I rather liked.  It was:

"Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become."

-- Jim Rohn

The New Year's Eve party I went to was a blast of course.  Me and my sisters played a show out in Goldendale.  Mariah was the first to hear about it.  She went to the pub and the owner told her about it, not knowing the fellow who was putting the show on simultaneously emailed me about the event (I had done shows for him before).  Mariah informed the owner that if we were playing that a LOT of people would show up.  The owner tried to tell Mariah "not to get your hopes up, it's Goldendale, so it's always less than you expect."  Mariah said "I don't think you understand."

There were about five acts playing that night, with a staggered order.  The pub was packed with people, and they were all there for us.  Me and Beth and Mariah played for hours, and I even got Xander up to sing a couple tunes.  Mariah played one of her originals last, leading into the countdown for the ball to descend (or as I like to call it - New York's ascent into manhood).

My gorgeous girlfriend was there, so I kissed her while everyone else was shouting "Happy New Year!"  That's a thing, right?  I feel like I've seen that on TV or something.  Joey and April showed up and did some awesome dancing as well.  Mariah's husband Ben danced too, but in more of an invasive pelvic thrusting sort of way.  Hey, it was a pub on New Year's.  These things happen right?  For instance, I got up to go to the bathroom, and there was a sort of tight space to get through to get to it, and T.J. decided to trap me with his butt against the wall (still dancing of course) as I went by.  I shouted "I'm gonna pee on you!  I'm gonna pee on you!"  He didn't stop so I shouted "I just peed on you!"  Which was a lie, of course, but he still let me go.  On the way back from the bathroom he pinned me again with his butt, so I jumped on his back and rode him around the bar.  Cheers.

There is footage of the concert itself, and some of the dancing on my mom's video camera.  It needs some light editing before putting on youtube because it's all one big video right now.  When it's finished though, I'll see about posting another blog.

There was a short after party at Mariah's hotel room.  At one point, a friend came out of the bathroom and said "I feel so bad!  I just dropped all the towels in the toilet!"  See, the towels in the hotel bathrooms are hung precariously above the toilet for some reason.  Also, we had all taken shots of something whose label I didn't bother to read.  I'm pretty sure I told T.J. his eyes looked like the B.P. logo.  I was feeling pretty good.  After that, T.J. and Ben got into a wrestling match and T.J. ended up having this huge bloody nose, which he cleaned up using what towels were left.  In the morning, everyone who wanted to shower had to dry themselves with little wash cloths.

If I were to give my New Year's a movie review, I would give it as many stars as T.J. saw when his head hit the wall. With that I would like to sign off, reminding everyone to ask not what this year can do to be awesome for you, but what you can do to make this year awesome.  There are POSSIBILITIES, and they are as UNLIMITED as they are INFINITE.

--J.M. Gatewood
Probability Significator