This is not depression

This whole week I've been depressed, and therefore going about life the way I do when I'm depressed; unmotivated, slow-witted, smelly, and generally not fun to be around. I've also noted in the past that I'm unlucky when I'm depressed, but upon testing this phenomenon out on myself and others, I figured out that luck seems grounded on the synthesis of opportunity and attitude (i.e. a person with a positive attitude is more likely to recognize opportunity and seize it, and it follows that the more opportunities a person seizes, the more opportunities present themselves).

Luck: If you take a chance, you have a chance.

We spent the week preparing for a final written exam at school by playing various trivia related games that involved everyone in the class, such as Jeopardy and Bingo. The person sitting next to me during Bingo said "oh, I love this game. I always win at it." And she did win at it. What do you suppose the connection is between will power and chance? I won that day too, not at any of the games - that's not why I was there. This person, who sat next to me won a lot that day; she owned the room, knew all the answers to all the questions so solidly that she could shout the answers during Jeopardy before enough of the question was said to make any sense.


The truth is: you will succeed at a level you didn't think was possible when you know what you stand for and you live it. You will be bold and extraordinary just being you. Furthermore, if your purpose is so concrete that you can say it out loud, then you can expel anything that ISN'T conducive to your purpose with the flick of a wrist. It can become laughably easy.

I had a friend who once spoke out loud that his purpose was "to help direct attention toward that which would otherwise limit a person to the conditions of existence." Or something to that degree; it's been awhile. During this bout, he quit smoking cold turkey. Easily. No problems.


I took the test to-day and scored 50 out of 50. Sometimes when I'm down I have to remind myself how awesome I am at the things I'm awesome at. Like my uncanny ability to be just as smart as any bookworm in a classroom while still looking like a slacker. For me, yes - delusions of grandeur help make life worth it. But who cares should my grandeur be an illusion? At least I'm the Chosen One.

"As much as we influence others, so are we at risk of catching others' values and actions, of coming under their influence. If we surround ourselves with small thinkers, we will think small...to let a sad thought or a bad one get into your mind is as dangerous as letting a scarlet fever germ get into your body." (The Think Big Manifesto p.139)

I almost hate to admit it, but there's also an interesting phenomenon that happens when we leave things to chance. God works. And it's freaky, because God doesn't act predictably. At all. It shatters that illusion we all carry that we're that in control of events in the first place, because chaos is right in front of you impossible to ignore. How many of the long term plans you've made actually occur? Why? Over time, I simply say "I've had a change of heart" or "circumstances are different now," and it's true. So why make long term plans at all? We don't have the decisions of the future, only the decisions of the present. And for those of us in America we are lucky enough to have the freedom to make the RIGHT decision.

Anyone who's ever tried to make advanced plans with me has heard me say "sounds good right now. But talk to me about it closer to the date." Even though events seem random and out of control, we should be comfortable with the mystery. Having all the information is not the same as having all the answers. If we were spoiled with the information, in fact, we might not discover ANY answers at all.

God loves you. Personally. You're in good hands. That's why you should be comfortable with the mystery. He knows what he's doing and he has a will. If will is a song, a sound wave in frequency, then to trust him and attempt to sing the same song is to eliminate all dissonance and discord. Discord is fighting against the current, and trying to do anything other than what you're supposed to be doing makes life a miserable struggle.

"If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to younder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you."  (Jesus, Romans 1:17)


So when you're feeling depressed, think big, pray, and leave your mind and heart open to UNLIMITED INFINITE POSSIBILITY.

--J.M. Gatewood
Probability Significator