This is not opportunity

It's a good thing I write blogs now, because I've realized recently that my language center has weakened with misuse. I remember a time when I could banter with the best of them. Now I find myself forgetting terms and structuring sentences in the wrong order, or saying things like "my toothpaste is all out of itself." Last week I gave someone directions using hand gestures and sound effects. The English major in me is no doubt extending his tea-drinking pinky and serving insults at my inoperable eloquence that I nary understand. Shame on me.


As I write this, some people walked into the computer lab and started looking up personality profiling information on Scorpio, and pulling all kinds of readings for their compatibility with another sign. Presumably this person is trying to get a jump start on anticipating their relations with a particular Scorpio. It’s funny to listen to. Astrology is fun, but I’m of the mind that any personality type can be compatible with any other personality type, and that two people looking for love should really just relax. There is way more to interactions than personality, so it’s a safe bet that you’re not going to anticipate events no matter how hard you try. Eventually, you’ll figure out whether or not you’re compatible and it won’t have anything to do with your personality.

Actually, I’ve found that the chief problem in romance is the overstimulation of the senses by the media causing people to judge our own expectations incorrectly; coupled with a general lack of wherewithal on the subject of stimulating attraction in others. But I should save THAT for another blog. That’s a whole psychological ball of wax I could write a book on.

I found out to-day that the massage tables our class thought we ordered last week weren't ordered until this Monday. This piece of information spawned a funny little chat betwixt two of my favorite classmates who had very different outlooks on the situation: an optimistic one and a pessimistic one. For anyone who has LIVED UNDER A ROCK as far as kitschy psychological trends go, optimism expresses a positive outlook where pessimism expresses a negative outlook. Many recognize it this way:

Optimism = you see the glass half full

Pessimism = you see the glass half empty

I hate breaking it down this way, for the same reason I dislike personality profiling like astrology or DISC or Meyers-Briggs: it’s impossible. There are two kinds of people in this world: people that separate everyone in the world into two categories of people, and people who don’t. I tried to calculate out all the possible different personalities and got to about SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY before giving up.

But I digress. If you can find a clear measurable line between positive and negative in another person’s perception, then by all means. I’ve heard it said that the world needs both optimists and pessimists. I disagree. I believe the world needs realists and dreamers. Realism doesn’t necessitate negativity, you see?

I had a friend – a Scorpio, oddly enough – who emailed me when she moved back near my hometown. When I asked her about the sudden switch-up in lifestyle, she told me apprehensively that she had gotten a divorce. I said “congratulations,” and from then on, her speaking patterns to me were more positive. My guess is that she had to deal with a lot of judgment from people and learned operatively not to want to discuss it so much. Divorce is tough like that. I discussed depression and luck in my previous blog, and this is almost a continuation; hard times, strife, suffering – there are always going to be opportunities whether you see them or not. Often times the separating factor is fear of taking chances.

Fear of taking chances is normal. Here’s why.

Higher-level thinking aside, the human mind has two primal motivations in life: survival and replication. They balance each other well. If there was only survival, we’d never leave our houses and we’d barely talk to other people (higher level thinking introduces love which trumps that, but moving on), and if there was only replication, we’d die off rather quickly.

Let’s say it’s the Stone Age and you’re a single swingin’ bachelor living in a tribe of about thirty people. You don’t see other tribes much, cause it’s the effing Stone Age and you tend to fight other tribes you see due to food issues and things. Out of thirty people, let’s say about half of them are women. Now out of those women, about a third of them are an age you can mate with biologically. And out of THOSE, perhaps half of them are healthy and not deformed from some hardship, or grotesque signaling bad genetic makeup. Then, after THAT, you’ve got maybe three left, and unless you’re the strongest man in the tribe or you’ve got strong friends, you’re not going to be able to talk to them. Why? Because someone will drop a rock on your head if you do. The threat is real. I believe nature predisposed us to have butterflies in our stomach when taking chances to help ensure our survival. Including events where our goal is replication.

To-day it’s different. There are UNLIMITED INFINITE POSSIBILITIES that are FAR MORE EVIDENT to-day. More single people, more recourses, hell, we don’t have to try NEARLY so hard to survive the wilderness anymore. So what do you do when you see an opportunity?

My ex-fiancé skipped the country to work at an orphanage. My Dad went back to college and then turned around and talked me into it. Remember my Scorpio friend? She set up shop as a model.

So what do you see?
A half-empty glass, or a half-full glass?
An icky spider-web, or a beautiful tapestry?
A dessert or a really REALLY low tide?
A problem, or a challenge?
A stroke of misfortune or an opportunity to shine?

We’re here on Earth for a little while and then we leave. What are YOU here to experience?

You don’t have a script; and no routine or preliminary knowledge is going to help you. The attractive person is the one who is relaxed, confident, unafraid to go out on a limb should an opportunity present itself, and has the ability to roll with the punches. Repeat after me: UNLIMITED INFINITE POSSIBILITY.

--J.M. Gatewood
Probability Significator