The Truth, the Past, and the Underpants

I acted in a play once in college called "The Underpants," which was written by Steve Martin, who is evidently some sort of comedy genius.  There is a scene in it where the character I played stole a kiss from the unwitting female protagonist and then immediately passes out and has to be resuscitated by means of cold water to the face.  A photographer took a picture of this kiss one night and the photo made the Oregonian newspaper.  I have the page framed and hung on my wall as a conversation piece.

And since Steve Martin is wholly responsible for making the event of me kissing a girl worthy of a Portland newspaper, I feel like I owe him at least the honor of following him on Twitter.

During rehearsal one night for this play, we were running the final scene where the King comes into the house and everyone's surprised about it.  I remember the director - who had been pleased with our acting and use of comedic timing thus far - was unhappy with our rendition of being surprised at the arrival of the King.

We were just being surprised the wrong way.  He tried getting us to play make believe and shake the proper response from us.  He'd say "pretend the President just walked through the door," to which we replied "you want us to throw tomatoes at him?"  He then attempted "well, then pretend Tom Cruise or some famous celebrity walked through the door.  Or some sort of personal role model."  And when he saw we were looking at each other confused, he added "Like Jesus."  And for the most part we actors replied "so you want us to ask him questions?"

The director was frustrated that we college age actors couldn't relate to the way that Germans would have felt had the King walked in.

See, for us who grew up in the age of information, respect seems to have a different face.  It works different, talks different, behaves different.  We don't respect authority simply because they are in a seat of authority.  We can't.  We have to know everything first.  So our initial reaction is incessant questioning - especially of intention - and judging.  And we're not horribly wrong for concluding that's the way we have to go about things.  Here's why.

The first election I remember being old enough to give a crap about was Clinton.

All the way up to the highest authority IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY could NOT BE TRUSTED.

Also, we grew up with the internet.  That means we not only had access to exponentially more information than our parents, but since our brains were sponges, we developed almost scary instincts about how to FIND that information crazy fast and better than our parents could given the same technology.  And we did find that information and used it to weigh our leaders, actors, bosses, educational facilities, institutions, even our own parents. 

We were the first generation of children that couldn't have faith in the strength and infallible wisdom of our parents.  

We did eventually get it right, in case you're wondering, the reaction to the King.  I can't remember what the solution was.  I think we just needed to stop overthinking things and go from the gut.

"Did you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you do in your head? You can look it up.  I know some of you are going to say 'I did look it up, and that's not true.' That's because you looked it up in a book.  Next time look it up in your gut.  I did.  My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works."

--Stephen Colbert

I wholly believe that within the next couple of generations the children of the information age will be able to properly adjust society to the ramifications of the booming industrial age.  

In the meantime, I personally will follow God's authority, and if anyone asks me what the right direction is I will say "there's only one way, up."  Or "there's only one way.  Up."  Or "there's only one way up."  Or some variation.  Honestly, if I'm saying it out loud you can't tell which one it is anyways, can you?  And does it matter?  

In a world where there's so much information, none of which leads to any real truth, people have started to become ambivalent and unwilling to figure out if truth exists at all.  After all is said and done, God is still the most likely authority to lead you to any answers of substance whether you believe He exists or you don't. 

Here are some other things to meditate on:

• You can still get service with a smile by smiling first.
• Everyone around you is a genius you can learn something from.
• There is a magic word with magical powers to attract people: "hello."
• Sharing is contagious: it spreads tangible material around that is infected with love.
• Raising your voice will only strengthen their resolve against your words.
• Fighting doesn't make you king of the mountain and it doesn't prove you're in the right.  Arguably, it never has.
• Honesty doesn't mean saying whatever pops into your head without a filter. It takes careful consideration.
• Rules are made for the benefit of man, not man for the benefit of the rules. 
• Asking for help doesn't hurt anyone's opinion of you, and it gives someone else the chance to feel like a hero.
• Remember to sleep.
• I am rubber and you are glue.
• Do unto yourself as you do unto your neighbor.
• It's not an eye for an eye, it's a favor for a favor.
• Don't trust your future self to get around to what present you putting off.  Chances are you won't have improved that vastly at not procrastinating by then.
• Coincidence is the process of miracles.
• It's never not now.
• UNLIMITED INFINITE POSSIBILITIES!

Speaking of procrastination, I've discovered an article in Psychology Today magazine, which my mother bought me a subscription to for Christmas, bless her heart, that describes a way to form better habits.  Specifically, I believe it gives exercise as an example, but it would work anywhere, and it's certainly helping me.

The idea is that you are more likely to remember to do something without putting it off if you attach the thought to something you're already doing regularly.  An if/then scenario, in other words.  I say to myself: "when I'm done with dinner, I will immediately do some curls."  I have set up the event "if dinner, then curls" in my mind.  When dinner roles around, it reminds me of curls.  Our minds are awesome at doing things that way it turns out.  Food for thought.

--J.M. Gatewood

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