Even cavemen got butterflies

No one wants to see you fail on stage.

Bear with me.

When I strap on my guitar, plug it into the P.A. and step behind the microphone, ready to kick off into a song, everyone is looking at me waiting to see what I'll do.  This is true for anyone who has ever been behind a mic.  It can be scary.  Here's why it's scary.

Note: I believe in God.  I like to use cavemen in my examples a lot because they paint a simple picture of the functions of human adaptations that aren't always clear.  Not necessarily because I want to claim that I know what we were like a few thousand years ago.  Purely speculation.

So imagine a couple thousand years ago and everyone is cavemen.  We're all living in tribes of about thirty some odd people.  Perhaps about half of them are women.  Perhaps half of that half are between puberty and menopause.  Perhaps half of that half are healthy and disease free.  That leaves three women tops for a strapping young lad to mate with.  Of course you don't talk to them, cause either the alpha male in the group will drop a rock on your head or you'll say something totally unromantic and she'll tell all her friends what a loser you are and you'll never reproduce.  That was a real concern back then I imagine.  Butterflies in the stomach?  Totally a necessary adaptation.  Those with a predisposition for caution often had the best chance for survival.

These days, there are about three hundred and seven million people in the United States alone; most of which are networked together via the internet or telephone (as opposed to back in the tribes of thirty who didn't tend to talk much with neighboring tribes).  Tons of those people go out clubbing, or to bars, or to malls, or to churches, or to all sorts of various social events just to meet people they've never met before.  If you flirt with someone wrong, you might never have to see that person again for as long as you live, and you've probably inflated their ego in the process, failure or no.  And the man or woman in this person's life is very likely not particularly emotionally mature, and neither are they.  You might not be either.  Nobody is in America.  So relationships around here don't last forever.  Which means if you're REALLY dedicated to winning the heart of someone already in some sort of committed relationship, you can always come back later.  Still got butterflies in your stomach?  Stop eating butterflies.

Sure, your body makes you picky, which helps narrow things down on a biological level.  Sort of.  Various chemical "smells" we pick up off of the opposite sex are indicative of what sorts of antibodies that person has, and we're programmed to be attracted to a balance of like and unlike antibodies; so as to better produce offspring that are immune to more pesky diseases.  It's still pretty practical right now if you think about it, (and still has an extremely powerful effect on the limbic system, I can attest.  I had a more potent hit of pheromones recently than I think I've ever had.  It can get blinding if you aren't careful.)  at least until humans develop the technology to start swapping contagious antibodies through the air.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

So, what happens when you get behind a mic is that a lot of people are watching to see what you do.  In caveman land, that usually meant you were a chief or a shaman or in some kind of powerful position.  The kind of powerful position that people put their trust in for their VERY SURVIVAL.  That's a lot of pressure.  Especially considering if you steered them terribly wrong, and you yourself survived, most tribes would shame the hell out of you.  You would be a complete and total outcast.

This is not true of performance art or REALLY any kind of public speaking to-day.  In fact, ESPECIALLY with performance art, everyone just wants to enjoy the show.  If I go up there with the guitar, get nervous about what everyone thinks of me and choke, nobody ENJOYS it.  If I go up there confidently and play and have a good time, everyone has a good time with me.  I mean, people pick little mistakes apart to themselves all the time, sure.  But it's mostly it's because they want you to succeed.  Some people enjoy being a critic about you to other people, but it's usually not even about you.  It's about making themselves look better.

In case you haven't figured it out already, I'm not talking about me and my performance art.  I'm talking about you and your life.  Every.  Day.

See, there's been a lot of melancholy flying around me lately. People not happy with the way life treats them, the way their luck is going, the way their day is going, as though these arbitrary abstract concepts are sentient and try failingly to cater to their pleasure.  Says to me that people want to believe in God.  Of course not the God that makes Himself known to them, because they've heard He's got rules and they're afraid those rules won't be what they want to do; that the God who answers their prayers will take them AWAY from what they think will make them happy.

What people think will make them happy is actually what will make them comfortable if miserable yet delusional.  God wants people to be happy, but.. you know... ACTUAL happy.  Not that cheap-o KayMart brand tofu based happy.  The real juicy meaty part of the happy with the K-1 sauce.  Those that would say "there is no absolute" are stating something that ultimately defeats itself, for that sentence is itself an absolute.

"The thief comes to kill and steal and destroy.  I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."  --John 10:10



That being said, Shakespeare (who I HATE quoting) or one of his various characters, said "All the world is a stage."  This is true to the extent that you're always making impressions on people wherever you go.  And in everyday life - just like on stage - no one wants to see you fail.  Not really.  If you're relaxed, having fun, cracking jokes, comfortable, making eye contact, rolling with the punches, it's super contagious.  People will enjoy themselves more around you and you will enjoy yourself more around you.  Your opportunities will improve with your networking, and with it your luck.  If you're always truly seeking to make the best of each moment, every day's events will accumulate into a good day, and life will be good.  The downside is that everyone on your Facebook news feed who has Facebook status's that say things like "today isn't going so well" and "eff my life" and "just my luck" will start to REALLY annoy you.

Life is suppose to be a complex roller coaster of experiences, not just of sad ones like heartbreak and loss and pain, but of truly beautiful ones like passion, like movement, change, action, laughter, the RUSH, the THRILL... music.

I had a friend once tell me that the only thing that time guarantees is heartbreak.  He means it optimistically, as if to say the idea is that all relationships end, if not in breakup then in death, which is the absolute best excuse to keep the passion cubed into each individual moment.  There's one more thing besides heartbreak that can only exist if time exists and that is music.  Every song ends as well, but you know if it didn't... boy you'd sure want it to.  Life is this way.

If me or one of my band mates plays a wrong note on stage, we all know to kick in to make it sound right, to compensate.  Having a good team is indispensable.

Maybe it's off to a rocky start, but you can always play off of it.  Play a couple more notes to make it sound right, roll with the punches, get a good rhythm going, seduce your audience, establish a rapport.  Then you gotta build in dynamic of course, slowly, like you're dangling a string in front of a cat.  Can't just give the ending away, cause no cat wants a string that's just sitting lifeless on the ground, there's no challenge in that; no vigor, no thrill.  Build it into something interesting, make it something to CARE about, something to invest in; you're worth the value, so act like it.  Dress like it.  Make it passionate, even if it means closing your eyes and ears to the outside world sometimes and taking a leap of faith.  When I finally explode through the climax and into the other side, I want to be able to say I experienced everything I came here to experience; all of the UNLIMITED INFINITE POSSIBILITIES that were so important that I bothered to come to this planet, this stage, and signed this contract that says I've got to die, just for the privilege of singing this song, or dancing this dance for the limited time I'm here.

In other news, happy Black History Month!

With Love,
--J.M. Gatewood
Probability Significator